I recently stumbled upon this article posted by Country Outfitter: 26 Things You Should Never Say to a Short Girl. This was a list that I have indeed heard numerous times, because I am a petite 4’11. I can guarantee you I’ve heard every short comment in the world. Granted, most are meant to be innocuous. However, when you’ve heard them 9372648 times, it gets old. So, with the inspiration of this article, I have made a list of my own: 17 Questions Short People Are Tired Of Hearing & Their Responses. Some of these questions come from the original article, but I’ve also included my own. I also apologize for the language in some of the gifs, but they were too funny not to share.
(*Gifs are not mine. They were all found on Google, so if it’s your gif and you want credit, I’d be happy to give credit where it’s due*)
1. “Wow, you look 12 years old.”
Yeah, I get it. I’m short. And I may look like a 12 year old, but I was 12 ten years ago and I think it’s safe to say I don’t look 12 anymore.
2. “You make me feel so tall.”
Duh. I’m 4’11. I make everyone feel tall. You’re not special.
3. “You aren’t short. You’re fun sized.”
Excuse me? I’m short. Not fun. Bye.
4. “You must get all the cute shoes! They only have the little sizes.”
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Have you lost your mind? No, honey. No. They always have size 7-9. Me? I’m anywhere from a 4 to a 5 & 1/2, but I end up buying a 6 that is too big for the sake of fashion. Otherwise, I’d have to buy light-up shoes or the ugly shoes with the little block heels in the children’s section. Which leads me to my next point…
5. “You must get to shop in the children’s section. That’s awesome and so much cheaper!”
No, I cannot shop in the children’s section because they make children’s clothes for ~you guessed it~ children. Who are shaped like rulers and have waists 10x smaller than the waist that I’ve been working on for 22 years. Plus, because it’s in the children’s section, this means that there are rainbows and unicorns and puppy dogs and words like “fantastic” or “adorable” or “awesome.” That’s not fantastic, adorable or awesome when you’re 22 and trying to date.
6. “At least you don’t have to worry about dating someone shorter than you.”
First of all, there’s a chance that there is someone out there shorter than me. But that’s not the point. Just because I’m short doesn’t mean I have to date short men. If you’re a tall woman and you tell me that I need to date short men so you can have your fair share of tall ones: BYE. Some of us like tall men too. Who are you to get in the way of me and Mr. 6 Foot McSteamy?
7. “Shaving is the worst. How about you just wear a maxi dress?”
Wow. A maxi dress! Why didn’t I think of that?? Oh that’s right. Because I don’t feel like being swallowed up in an extra foot of fabric, because my legs are much shorter than yours. And while we’re on that subject, looking at all of you tall women getting to be lazy and just throw on a maxi dress when you don’t want to shave or just even seeing your long, lean legs while you’re chatting up Mr 6 Foot McSteamy is annoying.
8. “Can I use you as an arm rest?”
No. You may not. In fact, don’t touch me at all. You want an arm rest? Go sit in a chair.
9. “How do you drive?? You must have to sit on a pillow. How do you reach the pedals??”
You know, there’s this thing called technology. It’s 2015 people. There are cars that have seats that move up/down and forward/backward. And before you ask, NO. I have not been pulled over for cops thinking I was too young to drive.
10. “Can you reach that for me? You’re closer to the ground.”
Yeah, I get it. I’m short. But I’m also getting old and my knees crack every time I bend, so suck it up and get it yourself.
11. “What’s the weather like down there?”
Hmm, well chances are it’s pretty much the same as it is for you up there. But well, I guess I’ll never know. Will I?
12. “Guess you can never be a model, huh?”
Yeah, but chances are that you can never be a model either unless you have the bone structure of Cara Delevingne or Karlie Kloss’ perfect runway walk.
13. “Dynamite comes in small packages.”
Oh really? You sure are right. Let me show you that dynamite.
Yep. It sure does.
14. “Sit in the middle. You’ll fit.”
Let me assure you: sitting in the middle is uncomfortable for everyone, regardless of height. Yeah, my legs are shorter than yours, but I’m not trying to lose the feeling of my feet or end up feeling like I have arthritis because you’re too afraid to just admit that you just don’t like sitting in the middle.
15. “What did you say? I can’t hear you!”
Ugh, do I really have to repeat myself again? Sorry that we’re not talking face-to-face. If it makes you feel better, having to talk to your chest is getting old. And further, standing in line is probably the 8th circle of Hell or something. Hello! I can’t breathe! I’m in the middle of a tall person sandwich and I can smell your back sweat, or heaven forbid you crack sweat when you’re really tall. I’m tired of looking at your back/behind.
16. “You’re so cute. I wish I was tiny like you.”
Hmmm. Somehow I doubt that. I think you would change your mind when you go grocery shopping and can’t reach the top shelf or when you get asked ridiculous questions on the reg. Also, stop saying I’m cute.
17. “Are you a midget?”
Excuse me?? This is extremely offensive. First of all, the term has origins meaning “less than,” so when you call someone a midget, you are indicating that they are less than a human due to their short stature. Next, it is rude. I don’t come up to you and ask “Are you an idiot?” or any other derogatory term. No, I am short. That is all.
So folks, there you have it. 17 questions that short people are tired of hearing. For all my fellow shorties out there, continue being fab and rock your height despite the dumb questions you encounter every day. After all, being short’s not so bad.
